A Caged Heart
by foulbeast
Summary: Draco Malfoy holds Harry Potter's heart. But what happens when someone unexpected enters Harry's world?
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter stood on the street corner, reading a small wrinkled piece of parchment. An address had been scribbled on it in a rush and was partially covered by a stain. "Blimey," croaked Harry into the night air, swearing under his breath, "I can't make out if that's a four or a seven." He squinted down at it as he stood under the street lamp. The deserted road held an eerie chill about it.

Harry had found the note in his pocket that same morning. He hadn't remembered what the address was for, or who had even written it down for him. There had been a party in the Gryffindor common room last night celebrating another Quidditch victory but Harry did not feel much like celebrating. He'd instead decided to throw back as many Butterbeers he could stomach to forget his problems. Ron and Hermione were all couple-y now, leaving no room for him. Cho would not cease to leave him alone (she'd follow him around bothering him between classes, trying to get him to ask her out again). And worst of all Draco Malfoy had not paid any attention to him. Infact it seemed to Harry that Draco'd forgotten he even existed. Harry had pretended in the previous years that Draco teasing him had annoyed him, he had even been (Harry hated to admit it to himself) _mean_ to Draco. What everyone didn't know was that secretly on those few rare occasions they'd spit nasty comments at each other Harry had gotten a rather extreme case of the butterflies. But Draco had moved on from Harry now, bored with him, instead he turned his attention to the younger students and bullied them through the halls, always abusing his power of being a Prefect. _How can he just throw me to the side like some…some…leftover? _Harry tried to hold back the tears threatening to surface and decided to throw the idea from his mind for now. He had business to attend to. (Even if he didn't yet know what that was himself..)


	2. Chapter 2

Harry found the house he thought he should be looking for. Number Seven, Maple Crescent. It was one of those boring new development type homes, the ones where you know the people living inside have a decent jobs and watch family sitcoms together while eating fat free popcorn. He rang the doorbell twice. After a few minutes of waiting he decided to sit on the porch steps and wait for them to return home. If he returned to Hogwarts so soon he'd have trouble explaining. He'd told his friends that he had detention with Snape that evening.

"This is useless," thought Harry ten minutes later. His butt was soar from sitting on the cement steps and he was freezing in the cold fall air. He secretly wished Draco had been there to warm him but stopped that thought the moment it started. It was too painful to bear. He got up and pointed his wand at the door handle and whispered "Alohamora." The lock clicked open. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no muggles were watching and slipped inside. He surveyed his surroundings. He stood in a simple living room. The couches were a matching set and the same maroon color as the curtains; the walls were a tasteful off-white color that matched with another utterly tasteful off-white carpet. A reasonable sized television sat in the corner and a landscape hung on one wall. He went from room to room, observing, sometimes picking up an object with pretend interest and placing them down again. Going through a jewellery box in what he imagined must have been a women's bedroom he found two one-hundred dollar bills and slipped them into his pocket. They wouldn't be any good in the wizarding world but during the summer at his Aunt and Uncles' they could come in handy. He fingered a satin dress in the closet and considered trying it on but thought better of himself. He was already in the nightie he'd found lying carelessly on the floor and didn't want to risk a less comfortable garment. A turntable sat in the corner tempting him. He picked up a record featuring Frank Sinatra and sighed, unable to resist. _Might as well. _He slid a cigarette from the already half empty carton on the bedside table and lit it with his wand.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry did not know how much time had passed as he lay on the bed, listening to good ol' blue eyes churn out the tunes and smoking when a disturbance on the lower level made him jump up in alarm. He sat on the bed, eyes bulging, beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. He listened to the footsteps walk around under him. Terrified he slowly moved off the bed and picked up his trainers from the floor. Just as he was pulling them on the footsteps starting moving up the stairs. Closer…and closer. Harry stumbled clumsily into the closet. _Shit!_ This was a very bad situation to be caught in. He waited listening. The person entered the bedroom and walked to the record player, and switched it off. They took in a long breath, like a dog sniffing the air for a squirrel to chase. "Who's there?" Harry thought it better not to answer. Then to Harry's dismay the figure walked slowly towards the closet. "I know you're in here somewhere-you're ashes are still hot!" _This is it, I'm finished,_ thought Harry. _They'll find me and I'll be expelled for sure for leaving school grounds. What if they have a gun?_ He got his wand ready to strike and thought up the best spell he knew to help make a quick escape when a knock was at the door. The person stopped in their tracks. After a long moment and several more knocks on the door to be the only thing breaking the intense silence they seemed to decide the door was more urgent and hurried downstairs.

Harry made his move. As fast as he could manage he ripped off the nightie and finished pulling up his pants. He heard the voice downstairs yell, "NO! Infact I would NOT like to help disabled orphans go to school!" and slam the door shut. They began stomping back up the stairs, cursing all the while. Harry ran to the window, threw it open and leapt out into the night sky. He plummeted downwards into a thick mass of rose bushes and stifled a yell as he felt the thorns scratch at his body, drawing blood. About him the stranger stuck his head out the window and swung his head madly trying to see the intruder. Harry did not breathe. Giving up they grunted in frustration, "If you ever come into my house again uninvited I'll call the police!" and slammed it shut again.

Harry began running down the street. He had to get back. Surely someone had noticed just how late the hour was, and that he had not yet returned. Suddenly he did not care that he was half naked and full of blood in the middle of a muggle town. _Surely, someone HAD to have noticed me gone…_ After entering the wizarding world Harry had become so accustomed to being in the spot light he had grown to expect people's attention. But now who cared about the famous Harry Potter? Not Ron and Hermione who were probably too busy snogging at this very moment to realize his absence. Not Ginny who'd given up on him so long ago. _And certainly not Draco Malfoy._ Crap. He'd promised himself not to think about him. Draco and his way of smirking, the way his arms so provocatively reenacted Harry's blunders to his fellow Slytherins. As he walked on he thought of every time they'd spoken, of the sweet smell of temptation that lingered on Draco's breath. Harry did not even notice that he'd reached Hogsmeade, and was absent minded as he entered the tunnel back to Hogwarts. He floated on down the corridors until he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady and bumped straight into her. "Oh, oh _Harry_, have you come for a midnight 'play session'?" she slurred to him in her most "seductive" tone.

Harry scowled, upset that someone had ruined his reminiscing, "You've been drinking again."

"I most certainly have not!" She retorted as some wine sloshed from her glass down her front.

Harry sighed, "Horse feathers."

"If you say so," the portrait swung open in mid eye roll.


	4. Chapter 4

The common room was empty besides a couple sixth years lying on the carpet drooling. Harry stepped over them and they're prescription bottles and went up to his dorm. Everyone was sleeping soundly. He pulled back his comforter and revealed a "gift" that had been left there. A lacy black pair of panties had lain pressed between his sheets, and small piece of parchment pinned to them. He squinted through the darkness and made out the neat hand writing of Cho Chang. It read: _Thinking of you. 3_

Harry smiled; he had run out of clean underwear the day before.

He snuggled into the warm sheets and reaching under his pillow pulled out another "surprise". It was another pair of panties, but these ones were considerably larger than the first and of the pink, frilly sort. The note attached to these ones said simply: _Guess who…_

Harry quickly tossed those babies to the dusty recesses of under his bed. He recognized them as Neville Longbottom's. Neville and Harry shared a special connection that no one but themselves knew about, but never spoke of. Both of they're parents had been destroyed by the dark Lord Voldemort. Neville had always really liked Harry as a friend, but lately he seemed to want to take things to the next level. Harry did not like this idea, Neville was the nice, shy sort. But defiantly not his type. _Not like Draco Malfoy._ Harry sighed to himself and turned over. From this angle he could see through the gap in Ron Weasley's drapes and caught a glimpse of Hermione hidden under there. He quickly turned over again. He did not want to let that glimpse of Hermione's new cleavage destroy his plans for Draco in his dreams this night.

Down the street, Goth kids, vampires.

Neon flamingo on wall

Voldemort tattoo what is this they're demons!


	5. Chapter 5

He slept soundly the rest of the night. Even when a stranger stood over his bed, breathing heavily. The stranger extended a long, pale, graceful finger and careful not to touch his skin or wake him, brushed a strand of hair from Harry Potter's face. "Thank you for visiting," He rasped under his breath.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and revitalized. He pulled on his brand new undies and a cloak. Out of the corner he saw Neville giving him the eye and could have sworn he heard a faint moan coming from his direction. Harry choose to ignore this, maybe if he showed Neville he wasn't interested this little crush would subside.

Later on in Potions Harry was attempting to whip up a love potion. He was actually suppose to be working on a concoction to increase hair growth but after listening to Snape drown on for an hour how could anyone concentrate on something so vial. Harry was just in the middle of figuring how he was going to slip the potion into Draco's flask when Neville had an accident. His potion had melted through his cauldron and into his lap causing most unpleasant hair growth as everyone shrieked and covered their eyes. Snape shrieked "LONGBOTTOM YOU IMBECIL! HOW MANY FUCKING CAULDRONS MUST YOU RUIN BEFORE IT GETS THROUGH YOU'RE THICK SKULL NOT TO STARE AT POTTER WHILE ADDING THE FLOBBERWAGGLE JUICE?" Then Snape, eyes ablaze with fury leapt onto Harry's desk, "GO GET FILTCH AND HAVE HIM BRING A MOP AND BUCKET YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

And with that Harry gladly left the potions room as Snape rounded of Neville again, "GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO MADDAM POMPHREY AND HAVE THAT SHAVEN OFF YOU USLESS GIT!"

_Snape's tempters had been rather awful lately, _thought Harry as he took the longest route possible to Filch's office so not to have to return to Potions early_, Must be 'cause Lucious Malfoy rejected him again._

Harry reached Filch's office door as a high pitched scream left his lips. It was a scream of pure terror. A scream of disgust and loathing. Above all, it was a scream of lost innocence. Harry had walked in on Hogwart's caretaker in a most compromising position with his dear cat Mrs. Norris. In one swift motion Filch recomposed his self, grabbed Harry, slammed the door to his office shut, grabbed a piece of spare rope and hog-tied Harry Potter, pushing him to the floor. Harry let out a yell and Filch proceeded to stuff a dirty old polish cloth that had been lying on the floor into his mouth as a gag.

_"What do you want?" growled Flich. _

_"P-Profeshor Shnape shent me!" Harry mumbled through a mouthful of cloth. _

_"What did you see?" _

_"Shir?" _

_"TELL ME YOU SACK OF SHIT! WHAT DID YOU SEE?" _

_"Nothing!" _

_"Tell me the truth Potter!" _

_"I-" _

_"WHAT DID YOU SEE!" smacking Harry round the head. _

_"Ishawshoudoingmrshish.norshish.." _

_"What's that boy?" giving Harry a jab in the eye with a broom handle. _

_"ARG, I SHAW YOU MAKING SHWEET LOVE TO MISHESH NORRISH!" _

Then everything went black.

-----------------------------

_This is just a side note!_

_I realize I do not own Harry Potter or any one else who attends Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That is slavery. _

_Also, for more awesome Harry Potter stories/where I got some of my inspiration from visit users BeeClock and AdorningMisery! _

_Now! Back to Hogwarts!_


	7. Chapter 7

The Seduction of Draco Malfoy

"This will be tricky, oh yes…very tricky."

"GEROFF ME PEEVES-YOU LUMP OF CRUD!"

Harry Potter's first sight on awakening was Peeves the school poltergeist trying to do some "seductive" tango on Harry's unconscious body. Feeling offended, Peeves sped away through the ceiling. No doubt he was going to have his way with Ronald Weasley next. It was the middle of the night, Harry observed, and he was lying in the hospital wing. He tried with all his might to remember what landed him here _this _time, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. _Drat!_ If he's been in the hospital wing all this time he missed his chance to slip Draco that love potion. _No matter,_ he thought, _I'll just have to use my quick wit, stunning charm, and hunky body to capture Draco's affection. _And with that he fell into a peaceful slumber.

Little did Harry Potter know, but at that very moment someone else had been whipping up a plan quite similar to his own.

A man stood in a dimly lit room, criticizing himself before a handsome full length mirror. His heart ached. So long had it been since the last time he'd been in the presence of his One True Love. So long had he been tormented and alone. "Why have they all forsaken me?" he whispered to himself. He wanted to see his love again, to hold them in his arms, to give them finally, that one sweet kiss. It was all he could do to stem the flow of tears threatening to abandon his eyelids. A beautiful melody crashed his train of thought as he turned to face an elegant bird perched next to the fireplace. He walked over to the beast and rubbed under its chin affectionately. The bird cooed softly, its voice giving him hope and reassurance. He poured himself and the bird a cup of tea and as they sat before the warm crackling fire a plan began to emerge in the man's mind. A plan to ensnare the one he loved.

Back at Hogwarts Harry had escaped the horrible clutches of Madam Pomphrey and was now tackling how he would ask out Draco Malfoy. That night Gryffindor was to play Slytherin in Quidditch and he hoped after the game would be a perfect opportunity to do so. He began doodling on his Charm's textbook, trying to ignore the un-ignorable noises coming from Ron and Hermione snogging in the desk next to him. Somewhere in the depths of his heart small pangs of jealousy arouse.

In the Gryffindor changing room Harry watched the other boys run around and slap one another with towels. Even seeing Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson in their undies didn't get him in a better mood. He just could not stop replaying the awful scene of events that had happened that evening.

_It started out well enough. Before taking off Harry had told Draco he wanted to talk privately after the match, and sneering that little sneer of his he agreed no doubt thinking it was probably Harry trying to meddle in his secret business as usual. Then Madam Hooch blew her whistle and they took off, but not before Harry could give the eye to Draco. After a few minutes of circling the pitch Harry got bored of looking for the snitch and instead drew his gaze to You-Know-Who. Then it happened. Draco sped right towards Harry with unbelievable speed! Overjoyed Harry floated perplexed, waiting with open arms for a warm embrace. The next thing he knew him and Draco had hit the podium and were tumbling downwards, locked together in a manner that shouldn't be allowed during Quidditch games. Then they hit the ground and something that sounded a lot like "&$!" came from Draco's mouth. Disoriented he shoved Harry's body off of his and practically screamed, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU POTTER!? THE SNITCH WAS FLYING TWO FUCKIN' INCHES FROM YOUR FACE AND YOU DIDN'T SEE IT! SO YOU DECIDED TO STAND THERE LIKE A RETARD AS I WENT FOR IT AND DIDN'T EVEN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY SO I COULD GRAB THAT BABY!" At this point he was rolling on the ground laughing at Harry's stupidity, the snitch clasped tight in one hand. _

Harry groaned and stood up, ready to leave the changing room. And as he left out the door the only thought he could use to reassure himself was "_At least I got to feel his thigh."_


	8. Chapter 8

The days rolled on, and so did Harry Potter's hoped of ever being noticed by Draco. He was lounging in the common room and picked up a textbook. Flipping through the pages noticing strange things marked inside the columns;

_H+N4EVR_

_I (Heart) Potter_

_Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter_

_Mrs. Neville Potter_

Harry put down the book and sighed. He was beginning to think it might be time to give in to Neville's advances. But every time he imagined them together all he could think of was suffocating in Neville's flub flaps. He fidgeted in the chain. He was bored. He was frustrated. And throwing a hateful glare at Ron and Hermione he could NOT stand to be the only one not getting some love! Standing he marched towards the portrait hole-stopped momentarily to sniff some old fashion blackboard chalk with the six years-and went to find Cho.


	9. Chapter 9

The man stood on the roof top. He straightened his overcoat and smoothed down his hair. Tonight was the night. Tonight he would reclaim his Love.

Harry was lucky. He found Cho easily in the hallway. He noticed she was surrounded by her usual gaggle of giggling girls, but was now alone. She looked much different then the happy girl he'd remembered having a crush on so long ago. She dressed in all black from her over sized sweater to her leggings to her combat boots and when Harry said hello she barely noticed.

_Dear Diary, _

_Today when I was walking down the hall who should stop to talk to me but Harry Potter! Can you believe it? At first I thought I'd mistaken him saying "hello" but then he called it again and I turned around and there he was looking all scrumptious just like I remembered him! (hearts) But anyways that's not the point- so he said that he missed me and had been thinking about us a lot and that he'd like if we could be friends again. So I said that yes I would like that and he smiled and can you believe it gave me a hug! And oh diary I know this all sounds so great but I just don't know what to do. Would Cedric be angry if I moved on or do you think he'd want me to be happy? I don't even know if I'm sure I WANT to move on. I really like Harry and all but… what if I'm just fooling myself into thinking that? _

_Harry+ChoLUV_

Harry walked from Cho feeling confident he'd made a good impression. Maybe Cho Chang wasn't the girl, or boy, of his dreams, but she had always liked him and there was no use in just sitting around and waiting for something to happen with Malfoy. He rounded the corner, anxious to make it back to bed and knocked into someone. They fell to the ground and Harry's insides froze instantly. Draco Malfoy had just left the prefect's bathroom and was wearing only a towel around his waist and from this precise angle Harry could see everything. Embarrassed they both stood up quickly and muttered "Sorry" blushing. Later that evening Harry milled over the moment in his mind and noticed something unusual. _Why didn't he get angry with me? _In fact, Draco had seemed just as embarrassed about the whole situation as he had.

The man paused on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He stared up at the window where he believes his Love to be sleeping. A light flickered distantly in it. Magically he rose towards the window and peaked inside just as he'd done that one night that seemed like ages ago. Tapping the glass with his wand it opened noiselessly and he slid into the room. The strange man knelt down next to the bed and resisted the urge to touch his Love's face. He rested a hand gently on the pillow next to it instead and whispered ever so quietly so no one else would hear, "Harry Potter."


	10. Chapter 10

Harry awoke with a start. He had just been having the most wonderful dream that featured himself and Draco Malfoy under a waterfall. Harry was a lost captain and Draco was a Mermaid. But now the dream was over and he was looking into the face of a complete stranger who'd been hovering over his bed. Quickly he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the intruder. "Who are you and why the hell are you watching me sleep?"

The man backed into a ray of moonlight that had been cast through the open window and Harry saw that the creepo pedophile was actually a teenager like himself, probably not a day over 16 by the looks of it. Slowly Harry got up, his wand still pointed directly at the person's heart. The stranger looked startled and put his hands up to mean no harm. For a moment their eyes locked and Harry saw something so familiar that had haunted him for the first eleven years of his life. The man gazed back at him and the staring contest ended when Ron gave a loud snore from the bed next door. "Who are you?" Harry repeated. The person did not answer; instead he stared at Harry curiously with a small smile on his face. Harry started to get frustrated, "Look if you're not going to tell me who you are or why you're here you may as well leave." The stranger looked hurt and lowered his head. Harry noticed for the first time this newcomer was rather attractive, especially when giving a pouty face. He was ashamed to admit but dare he say this stranger's face could rival Draco Malfoy's. Harry walked towards him, "Okay, sorry for being rude but you have to understand that I'm not used to waking up with people breathing over me, how would you like it if you woke and I was staring at you?" A smile played on the stranger's lips again and moved his eyes to the sleeping people around them. Harry had the feeling this person wouldn't mind that at all. Afraid one of the other boys would wake up Harry led the stranger into the empty common room and motioned for him to sit next to him on a couch by the fireplace. "Okay, now tell me what's going on here."

For the first time the stranger spoke, "My name is Thomas." He held out a hand that Harry shook. Thomas let out a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong? Don't you like shaking hands?"

"No..." the boy stopped a moment, as though he was being careful to choose his words, "I just thought it might hurt…"

"I've got a feeling this is your first handshake, eh?"

"Something like that…"

"Well I'm Harry, Harry Potter."

"I already knew that."

"Most people tend to," both boys smiled.

"Harry- there's something I need to tell you," Harry was surprised by how the boy talked as if they'd known each other forever. There was a long silence and just as Harry thought the boy wouldn't continue he spoke again, "I've actually been watching you for a while now and the truth is that I was the one who slipped the parchment into your pocket with the address on it. I wanted you to come to me, I thought it would be safest meeting that way since I'm not actually attending this school. I disguised myself in Hogwarts robes and attended the Quidditch party. It was so crazy I really didn't have any trouble getting in undetected. From the look on your face I don't think you remember me do you?"

Harry screwed up his brain, it seemed ages ago he'd laid on the bed smoking, and even longer the party. Thomas continued, "I didn't really expect you to remember to tell you the truth-you were gulping down Butterbeers so quick. But see, I came to the party to talk to you. I really wanted to meet you. Infact, I really wanted to murder you," Thomas stopped and glanced at Harry who looked shocked but not too disturbed yet so he kept talking. "But when we started talking I couldn't believe it, I thought you were the boy of my dreams! And I just couldn't help but fall for you. And ever since then I've wanted you Harry." The boy stopped. He had defiantly said too much, he just knew it.

Harry spoke slowly, "Why did you want to murder me?"

"Well I was very angry. You see I grew up in an orphanage my whole life, without parents-sort of like you," he looked up hopefully at Harry, "and I felt you were responsible for all the unhappiness I suffered without a father."

Harry was dumbstruck, "What do I have to do with you not having a father?"

"I'm afraid if I tell you you won't like me."

"Don't worry, just say it."

"I'm Lord Voldemort's son." There, he'd said it, and now Harry could decide whatever he wanted to. He peaked up through his hair and saw a mixture of emotions play across Harry's face. "I don't think you knew this but my dad and your mum were having an affair Harry. I guess she must have had a thing for the dark arts." He looked up again and knew this was the wrong joke to crack by the look of sudden death on Harry's face. "Well anyway apparently they were in love and going around behind your dad's back. But your dad, he found out mum was pregnant and when I was born he wouldn't take none of that. He'd found my dad's hiding place and was rallying a bunch of powerful Aurors together to take my dad out. But my dad got to your house first. You see he was a jealous man and when mum wouldn't take him to be her Only and left us he was so mad and figured he had nothing left so he broke down the door and killed the both of 'em. And you already know about how he tried to get you too but you destroyed him I'm sure. I'm really sorry Harry."

Harry had no idea what to say, he wanted to scream and shout and kill the person in front of him for telling such awful lies. But what if it was true? He had no right to blame Thomas. He was just as much a victim of their parents as he was. Thomas seemed to read his mind because he said, "It's true Harry. I've had to live with it for sixteen years, I'm the result of it. I'm really sorry. I'll go if you want." Thomas got up and started to gather his bearing when he felt Harry tug his sleeve and pull him back onto the couch. His eyes were wide.

"So that's why you were afraid to shake hands? You were afraid it would burn like it does when I touch Voldemort?"

"Yes," Thomas looked so ashamed of being alive Harry wanted to cry for him. He knew what it felt like being the boy no one wanted.

Then they embraced each other as brothers.


	11. Chapter 11

Thomas left just as everyone was getting up. They had spent the whole night talking. Harry had a sense Thomas wanted to be more than friends, than _brothers._ But for Harry that was out of the question, forbidden. As he climbed up the staircase to the boy's dormitory to mess up his bed he saw Hermione handcuffed to Ron's four poster, and Ron no where in sight. "Please…Harry…help…me…" she gasped. Harry quickly pulled out his wand and tapped the lock. They sprung open instantly. Hermione massaged her wrists, "He just left me there like that! Can you believe it, the jerk!"

Harry felt this was a pretty jerky thing to do, especially with all the pubescent boys standing around staring at her funbags.

At breakfast Ron was still no where in sight and Hermione seemed glad to be rid of him for a while. Her heart does not mend easily. Cho came and sat next to Harry at breakfast.

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh my god you'll never guess what I did today! I walked right up and sat next to Harry Potter at breakfast. It was pretty daring and I don't think he liked it very much because he seemed to have other things on his mind but when I asked him what was wrong he said nothing and changed the subject. He invited me to come study with him in the library after last and I'm so nervous I can barely write this! _

Harry was already in the library when Cho came in wearing a rather revealing black skirt and top ensemble. Harry could feel the group of Slytherins staring as she walked over and wanted to jinx them so bad right there. He had to admit he liked Cho. Of course she was no Draco Malfoy but he could settle. Now if Draco had come in wearing that there would be no containing the fiery passions that would consume every molecule…

"HARRY! Are you o.k.?" Cho woke Harry from his daydream involving him, Draco and a broom cupboard.

"Yeah, just fine." He peered over to the Slytherins and who had appeared but Draco himself. He didn't give Harry his usual look though as he glared at him and Cho.

_A Collection of Thoughts by Draco Malfoy_

_Oh god! Oh god! I just had to skip transfiguration to get this down… I think I want Harry Potter. And Oh I know! It sounds so wrong but Harry just makes me feel so right! (Sorry for getting all cheesy-that ain't my usual 'tude.) Ever since we bumped into each other in the hall yesterday I just can't stop thinking about the feeling of my bare skin touching his cloak! Oh god spite me now for I lust after my enemy-my foe! Oh woe is me woe is me! What can I do? I saw him sitting with the Chang girl in the library today. I think they might be going together you know. And how can I compete with her? Especially since for all I know Harry might only like girls!_


	12. Chapter 12

All through the next week Harry was stuck in a muddle. Between his new found half-brother, the truth about his parents finally coming out, devising plans for seducing Draco Malfoy, trying to figure out what to do with Cho, and dodging Neville's advances, he could barely consentrate on his school work, and the only reason he passed his Charms test was because he agreed to expose his entire left buttcheek to Professeur Flitwick after class. "So the rumours ARE true..." And he promptly left Harry standing alone without an explination as to what these "rumours" are.

The only thing that seemed certain now was that this weekend the Christmas holiday would begin and Harry would have two whole weeks to sort through this tangle his life had become at the Weasley's.

He was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the great hall across from Ron. The later was currently using his right arm to shove mash potatoes and gravy into the bottomless cavern he called a mouth, and his left to fondle Hermoine, having long forgiven him for the earlier "incident". Cho spotted Harry and hastily made way and sat down next to him. They were so close Harry could feel her breath in his ear. "Meet me next to the statue of the humped lady in the sixth floor corridor at nine." Ron spat a huge glob of potato onto his plate in shock. Then she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Oh, and don't be late." When she walked away Ron looked at Harry with a strange mixture of disbelief and admiration. "Oh my god Harry! I think she wants to boink your doink!" As specks of gravy and saliva flew from his mouth landing on Harry's lower lip.

Harry got up and left the great hall. Outside the door he was suddenly ambushed and before he could resist was pushed to the ground. He looked up into the faces of at least twenty jeering Slytherins. "I'm gonna kick your ass penis boy!" a tall seventh year roared.

"Yeah! Kick his ass!" The crowd rumbled.

"Hold him!" The seventh year ordered, he clearly had some authority over the others. Faithfully Crabbe and Goyle each held down one of Harry's arms, and several first years struggled to hold down his flailing legs. Harry felt a hot pain as the leader crushed his lit cigarrette against Harry's neck. He let out a cry but the Slytherin's were already dragging him out onto the grounds. They brought him over to the edge of the forbidden forest. Harry kicked and struggled with all his might but there were too many of them to get away.

Harry tried to yell, "What did I ever do to you ?!"

The leader spat at him in fury and growled, "Don't even pretend you don't know! You've been screwing Cho! She was my girlfriend in third year and you decided to play with her! I would've creamed that Diggory too, but unlike you he's a man and knows how to fight!"

The leader punched Harry in the gut and laughed, "Look how scrawny he is! The penis boy can't even fight!" At this the entire crowd burst out into histerics. They began to chant, "Scraw-ny penis boy! Scraw-ny penis boy!" Harry could see Draco standing in the crowd gazing solumnly at him. He felt hot tears of embarrasment springing into his eyes.

Crabbe and Goyle piped up, "Malfoy! Our man! Why don't you get a go at we lil' Potter? You're always taking about how you want to torture him!" Beads of sweat were clear on Malfoy's forehead. Harry squeezed his eyes tight. Draco's eyes shifted uncomfortably and he was shaking. "Scrawny... penis boy." The words cut through Harry's flesh like a hot knife. It hurt worse than the cigarrette.

Just then a voice boomed over the rowdy Slytherin's, "What the fuck are you losers doing? If the headmaster catched you morons doing anything to his precious Potter boy you'll be expelled before you can say 'Filch fucks cats' ."

As the crowd dispersed leaving Harry heaving on the cold damp ground he caught a glimpse of a slim pale boy walking away. Thomas. His savior.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry slouched back up to the school. He was so embarrassed, so hurt. How could Draco say those things to him? "_What a jerk."_ Thinking mean thoughts seemed to help him feel better. He suddenly remembered his appointment with Cho. Looking down at his watch he saw he only had five minutes to make it up to the Humped Lady. "_Screw Malfoy."_ he thought viciously. And with that Harry ran up to the sixth floor. He found Cho easily, she was leaning against the statue in a long velvet cloak looking smug. "I thought you'd never show up," she drawled. Harry put his arm around her and was appalled to feel she had on nothing underneath. Ron was right, she wanted to get it on. Before Harry could protest she forced him against the Hump and began smashing her face into his. It hurt quite a lot and Harry was sure she must be drawing blood. He didn't want to hurt Cho's feelings, and even more wanted to hurt Draco's. So he decided to let his mind wander. He began focusing on the statue's hump. The smooth sultry curve, disrupted by a naughty little bump here and there in the Old Lady's cloak. Soon Cho confused Harry's excitment over the statue as being for her and she pushed him to the ground to have her way with him.

Harry ran back up to his dormitory. He flung himself onto his four poster bed and let the tears roll down his face, unable to control them.

The next day was Friday, their last before Christmas Holidays. Harry dodged Cho in the halls, unable to face her. The events of last night had scared him and now even the thought of Cho made him pee himself a little with fright. He knew he'd probably look like a jerk by the end of the day and a fresh batch of rumors about him taking advantage of poor innocent girls in the halls was inevitable.

At the feast that night Dumbledore got up to make a statement,"I hope you have all enjoyed your first term at Hogwarts with unmeasurable pleasure! Please have a safe Christmas and remember, EACH YEAR ONE IN FIVE CHILDREN IS SEXUALLY SILICITED ONLINE! Thank you and goodnight."

Harry heaved his luggage down the castle steps that night as everyone was getting ready to leave the castle. A few Slytherins smirked at him and hissed snide comments his way but he wouldn't let it get to him. As he trudged alone through the snow a voice from behind sent shivers all through him. He turned around to see Draco Malfoy, "I'm sorry I called you a scrawny penis boy," he whispered and instantly Harry's anger towards him melted and drifted off as snow flakes in the wind.

He decided to play it cool though, "And why should I be expected to believe your apology?"

Draco looked uncomfortable and stared at his feet, shifting them in the snow, his hands in his pockets. "Well I never would have said those things if it hadn't been for my friends there. They were pressuring me and stuff you know?" He looked at Harry hopefully, "I'm really very sorry-you know I really don't think you're a scrawny penis boy..."

By now Harry's heart was soaring and he couldn't help but smile at Draco, "Well I guess I accept."

Draco grinned back, "Thanks," and suddenly his tone grew much more serious, "So I heard you were fornicating with the Chang girl."

Harry's insides seized, "She's sort of just an act I put on you know, to keep people thinking I-" He stopped cold. Had he said to much?

But Draco just smiled again, "I'll see you around then Harry." And he walked away.

"See you around," Harry whispered back, astonished that for the first time he could remember, Draco had used his first name.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting on Ron's bedroom floor making scissor cut designs on their bodies when Ron suddenly got an idea.

It was their third night at the Weasley's for Christmas break and already they were bored out of their minds. Harry actually secretly wished he could be back at the Dursley's this Christmas, even if all he'd get in the way of presents was one of Uncle Vernon's used condoms. At least at the Dursley's place he could spy on Dudley and his Aunt taking their nightly showers together. (Dudley always _did_ forget to get between his lard rolls.)

"I've got a great idea chaps!" Ron squealed.

"What's your idea?" inquired Hermione.

"Oh do tell us!" chirped Harry.

"Well how about a game of…._Truth OR Dare_!?" He pulled out a battered old video camera that seemed to have a few special additions on it, no doubt something Mr. Weasley had cooked up in the garage without his wife's knowledge. He had many secrets Mrs. Weasley would probably never find hiding in that garage.

Hermione was practically peeing herself with excitement when she gushed, "I'll go first! DARE I choose DARE!"

Then Ron said in his best "solemn" voice, "Okay Hermione-I dare you to make love to me right now!"

"Uuuurgh," Harry growled under his breath and left the room. He was in no mood to watch Ron role play tonight. He had been looking forward to getting his turn. When he passed by Ginny's room he peeked inside. It had changed a lot since he'd last visited the house. There were no longer dolls and story books on her shelves, or her rock pets she'd been attempting to charm into living creatures. All the little girl had been drained from the room and replaced with shelves of smutty romance novels and pictures of half naked Quidditch players. Harry noticed a few of them had actually personally been signed and quickly slid a wallet-sized portrait of Victor Krum into his pocket.

"You can have that one if you want." Harry spun around, startled by the voice. Ginny had been sitting on a chair behind the door in her room's corner. She was hugging her knees and looked as if she'd been crying, "I don't like it very much anymore-his uni-brow gives me the creeps." Then she picked a pill out of the prescription bottle onto the desk next to her and took it with a swig of whiskey.

Harry nodded quickly and made a squeaking noise, then fled the room. As he emerged Ron and Hermione came running up to him looking rather flustered, "Harry! We weren't finished playing yet! Truth or dare?"

Harry sighed, "Truth I guess…"

Ron put both hands on Harry's shoulders and looked deeply into his eyes, "So tell us dear Harry-Is it true you want to date Draco Malfoy?"

Harry stared at him with his mouth agape, _How could they have ever found out?_ Then he noticed Hermione bent over in hysterics and realized they'd only been kidding. He forced out a few harsh chuckles and fled to his room for the rest of the night.

He was awoken with a quick start, his heart beating fast. Everything was dark. He could feel Thomas's cool long fingers on his arm, "What are you doing here Tom? If anyone sees us you in here you'll be in buckets of trouble!"

But to Harry's surprise it was a female's voice who answered him, "Harry? What the devil are you taking about? _I'm_ staying here _too_...remember? And did you just call me Tom?"

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh me! It is a sad day indeed! Or night I should say. I just walked in on Harry and Hermione doing the most heinous of acts together! How could she do this to me! And how could Harry- my __friend__ betray me like this? They were…Oh! It's all just too horrible for words! I don't think they saw me though. I don't know if I should pretend that nothing happens or confront them in the morning. I always knew she liked Harry better, everyone likes the famous Harry Potter better than Nose-Picking Ronald Weasley, son of the poorest man in Britain! Oh Diary, sweet, unspoiled Diary, you're my only true friend now. _

_Signing off,_

_Ronsie_


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning Harry sat at the crowded breakfast table with the rest of the household. He kept his head low and focused on the toast he was munching on to avoid awkward looks from Hermione. He had no idea why he'd done it. He had no interest in Hermione at all besides a friend, but he had been startled and tired and not in his mind when she'd woken him and before he knew it the damage was done. In fact for a while he had been convinced it had been a dream. Ron hadn't come down yet from his room. Harry chanced a peak up and saw that Hermione was focusing extra hard on her oatmeal as well. He secretly, in the back of his mind hoped that he hadn't been a disappointment to Hermione, she was very experienced in these matters and although Harry didn't want to admit it he was not.

When Ron finally came down Hermione offered him to take a seat. But his reply was less than humble, "Fuck off man, I've gotta take a shit," and stormed away.

"Well that certainly was uncalled for," stated Mrs. Weasley as she flicked her wand and magically a pile of toast began to butter itself, "But never mind that now, I have an announcement to make!" She cleared her throat and smiled at the family. "As I'm sure you all know we've been long-time friends with the Norris's and this coming Friday I've invited them to our house to hold the wedding of Filch and the late Mrs. Norris."

At this the entire family's mouths dropped open exposing half eaten breakfast egg slime.

"You mean the Ministry is actually allowing that man to marry a feline!?" Mr. Weasley gaped.

"Yes Arthur," Mrs. Weasley retorted, "Although I'm sure it's none of _your_ business as to how Filch spends his alone time."

"Well if you count the cat he's not exactly _alone_ is he?" Muttered Fred just low enough so Mrs. Weasley couldn't hear.

"You're quite right Fred," chimed in George, "I heard he's been giving it to that poor animal since before we were born!"

Ginny looked up startled, "But how can the cat be that old?"

"Quite simply actually, and shut up and eat your Wizard Puffs, you're making me feel like an old man!" said Fred.

Christmas came and went. Harry received a sweater with a picture of a golden snitch on it, loads of chocolate frogs and every flavour beans, some new frilly underpants (accompanied by strange lingering odors) curtsey of Cho and Neville, three worn out issues of Naked Witch Weekly from Fred and George, a piece of used dental floss from Ron, a new yo-yo from Hermione, and what appeared to be crusted blood on a used tissue from the Dursleys. The card read:

_Dear Hairy,_

_We don't miss you and have enclosed a kerchief featuring your Aunt Petunia's menstrual blood to remind you how much we hate you and wish you'd choke on your own piss. _

_-The Durselys _

Soon the day of the wedding arrived. Every one of the Weasleys was either busy cooking, cleaning, or helping to transform the backyard garden into a beautiful winter wonderland. Once all the guests had arrived and all the Norris' had been supplied with a fresh saucer of warm milk the celebration began. When Harry walked outside to find his seat he noticed that the yard looked a lot like it had when Bill and Fleur were married. The only difference was now gigantic pine trees laced with tinsel and gleaming ornaments stood as a backdrop to the front where the ceremony would take place and there was fresh white snow everywhere. Somehow the area wasn't cold though and he noticed hundreds of little golden lamps on tables and suspended in mid air that seemed to be giving off an unbelievable amount of heat for something so small.

Once everyone had found their seat (which was quite difficult for the cats didn't want to stay put) the Hogwarts janitor Filch stood before them with the Minister. His greasy hair had been combed back and he was wearing a rather respectable suit and tie ensemble. Then the orchestra began to play and Mrs. Norris came tottering down the isle towards her husband-to-be. Since she was a cat she did not have a dress but a long veil had been placed on her head that had doves holding it up so as it not to trail on the ground behind her. She held her head up proud to show the frilly white collar she wore with little bells that jingled a pleasant melody. Behind her walked Ginny who had been appointed flower girl and she tossed white rose petals. Harry thought to himself that Ginny was the sorriest looking flower girl he'd ever seen. She had huge bags under her eyes and was probably a bit hung over. Fortunately he'd seen her earlier that mourning down half her prescription bottle with fire whiskey and now she seemed to be flying! Once Mrs. Norris made it to the front of the ceremony (which had taken quite a few mouse toys and chasing balls of string in the said direction) the Minister began to speak as the couple gazed lovingly at each other. It was hard to hear what the Minister was saying over all the cats meowing but when it came time for the 'I Dos' even the cats seemed to know to hush.

Filch cleared his throat and began, "Dear sweet Mrs. Norris. I know it's been hard for you ever since Mr. Norris passed away. But I have been and will continue to take care of you until our dying day. I love you and I know I always will. Nothing could break us. No young lady or smooth talking alley cat could ever tear us apart. That's a promise I'm willing to keep. So will you, Mrs. Norris, accept my hand in marriage?"

Mrs. Norris looked up at Filch with tears in her eyes and simply replied, "Meow."

Then the whole crowd burst into applause and cat-calls as Filch leaned down and kissed his bride.

After that speech everything seemed to have become clear to Harry. He wasn't interested in random little affairs and playing with girls (or boys) hearts anymore. He wanted a true, solid relationship, and he knew who he wanted it with.

Later Ron and Harry were sitting at a round white table, facing opposite directions and wearing matching scowls when Hermione sat down across from them. She put both her hands on the table and folded them in a way that showed she meant business. "Look, I'm really sorry, to both of you. I've just been going through a confusing time in my life right now and I don't know what came over me. Harry," he turned to face her, "I know I must have given you the wrong impression the other day and for that I'm truly sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. Because my love lies with Ron." at this Ron also looks to her. She reaches out and takes his hand and they silently exchange words through their eyes. "Am I forgiven?" she asked Ron cautiously.

He smiles and says to her, "Want to dance?"

Harry stays seated for a while after, watching the couples waltz across the floor, trying not to trip over the mischievous little cats that dart between their legs.

"I've been waiting to get you alone." A deep voice behind him makes him jump in surprise. He turns to see none other than Thomas Riddle leaning with one arm on Harry's chair.

"Tom if anyone sees you…" Harry begins but Thomas sits down at the table anyways and holds up a finger to Harry's lips to silence him.

"Harry," he smiles, "Just because I happen to be the offspring of the most feared wizard ever to live does not mean I'm some escaped convict the government's after. I am allowed to go where I want, just as every other citizen is. Apart from Hogwarts that is, I am not allowed to step foot in the castle and if I was ever caught the consequences would be severe. You see, Dumbledore may be a trusting man but he's not about to make the same mistake twice."

"The Slytherins just worship you, don't they?" Harry moaned. "If you really ever needed to get in you could just get them to sneak you in, I'm sure they'd be capable of it."

Tom laughed, "Yes, being the descendant of such a dark wizard has its strengths. For one thing, they're always trying to jump into bed with me. I guess you figured it was me who broke up the fight at Hogwarts then?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I saw you walking away. You could've stayed to talk a while you know, once all the Slytherins had cleared out."

"Actually," he apologized, "I couldn't. That old hag Sprout spotted me and ran straight off to tell Dumbledore the moment I entered grounds. My time was very limited."

Harry didn't say anything so Thomas continued, "You know Harry, I've missed you. You had no idea how badly I wanted to see you these past weeks, but every time I even approach the castle Dumbledore sends out a patronus to meet me and warn me not to precede any closer. He's really tightened down security since I was spotted." He looked at Harry, his eyes full of hope.

Harry gave a small smile, "'Kay you're forgiven I guess. I've missed you too Tom. It's been awful around lately. And you know I've been thinking, once I get out of Hogwarts and all maybe we could find a place together, you know, to live as brothers for once." He made sure to add in the "brothers" part, so as not to give out any wrong ideas.

However Thomas looked absolutely overjoyed, "You know, I'd really like that Harry."

Tom took Harry's hand in his and Harry was surprised to find how warm and enjoyable it was.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry was glad to arrive back to school after the break. Staying at the Weasley's was always nice but he knew Hogwarts was his real home. He felt so much lighter finally knowing what he wanted. Draco Malfoy, and could settle for nothing less than those perfectly sculpted abs. He was confident he could make Draco his. He'd spent night after sleepless night devising intricate and inventive plans to ensnare Draco in his magical web-all he had to do was employ them.

At breakfast Harry pulled out his diary from inside his cloak. Here were his special secret plans. They were sure to prevail with the up most diligence. Harry bit off a small portion of his tongue. He was starting to sound like Hermoine! He browsed through the pages, looking up occasionally to see if Draco had come into the hall yet. There was only ten minutes left until breakfast was over, and still he hadn't appeared. _What if something awful happened to him?!_ Harry tried to get those thoughts out of his mind. They were too painful to even consider. He didn't have to try for long, just then Cho sat down and put her hand in Harry's lap. At the exact same moment he saw Draco brood over to the Slytherins and put his feet up on the table. He looked straight at Harry, his blue eyes piercing him, and gave a cocky smile. _Crap! That bitch! She's going to ruin my plans! _ Harry knew he had to break up with Cho, in his mind the relationship was over that one fateful night with the Humped Lady, but apparently Cho hadn't realized the reason he hadn't sent her a single owl all winter break, and now she was going to try to make it difficult for him to get away. "Oh HARRY!" she squealed in a disturbingly bubbly tone, "I missed you SO much! How was your Christmas? Did you get anything good? Mine so was boring! My mum…"

"Listen, Cho," Harry interrupted her squawking, "This relationship just isn't going to work out, sorry."

"Are you breaking up with me!" she gasped.

"Yeah, like I said, I'm sorry I just don't think it's going to work out…"

"OH SO NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BREAK MY HEART WITH NO WARNING? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU PIECE OF SHIT, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE 'FAAAAMOUS' DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GO FUCK WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THEY DON'T MATTER! I HOPE YOU DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH MR.HARRY POTTER! I. HOPE. YOU. CHOKE. ON. YOUR. OWN. PISS. AND. JUST. DIE!" and with that Cho raised a hand and slapped Harry across the face, leaving a red burn along his jaw. Then she stood up, wheeled around and stormed from the hall, pushing first years to the ground that got in her way.

Harry sat completely stunned, his mouth slightly agape.

"Blimey Harry," Ron gasped, "It's a good thing you got rid of that old cow, her milk must have gone sour. And no one likes sour milk in their Wizard O's."

Harry blinked stupidly and turned to his best friend "Ron, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."


	17. Chapter 17

Harry stood in front of the mirror in the empty boys' washroom. A long red mark was across the entire right side of his jaw. He rubbed it gingerly. Now he was going to have to walk around with this hideous blemish for all the school to see.

"Don't you think that's a little vain?" Harry spun around to face his brother Tom, a stall door slowly swung shut behind him, "you know, staring at yourself in the mirror. No matter _how_ handsome one may be." He smiled and walked up next to Harry in the mirror.

Harry pretended not to be startled about his sudden appearance, "In case you didn't notice, I have a huge disfigurement at the moment."

"What?" He teased, "I don't see anything that could or could not have been caused by Miss Chang earlier this morning in the dining hall." _Of course he would know by now,_ Harry thought bitterly, _the entire county probably knew that Harry Potter had dumped his girl friend after "using her" and she socked him one in the face._

"Oh don't pout now Harry!" Harry was painfully aware of how close Tom was by this point, "_I_ think it looks rather heroic on you," he leaned forward and brushed his lips along the red mark.

_No! This can not be happening! _Harry started to panic, trying to ignore the butterflies Tom was ensuing. _We're related for god's sake! I can't let this happen!_

A smile played in Tom's voice, "You're such a little narcissist."

Harry tried to regain himself, "How'd you get in here anyways? I thought Dumbledore was keeping an eye on you now. And you know it's sort of creepy to be hiding in the bathroom-"

And then all was lost.


	18. Chapter 18

_A Worm in the Apple_

_By Neville Longbottom_

_It's true, and I'll admit it. I love Harry Potter. In fact, I love him more than you can believe. So this is why you'll forgive me for what I am about to do. I am going to hurt Harry Potter. But please understand, it will be all for the greater good in the end. It will be for our love, the purest love there is. Harry never showed any real interest in me, my advances were always denied. I can't tell you how many nights I went to bed in tears over him. I am a tortured soul, yearning for love outside of my Gran's. I want a partner. Someone handsome, good-looking, and most of all, attractive. Someone strong and brave, who'll protect me from all the cruelty in the world. And that's why Harry owns my heart. However, I know for a fact Harry Potter wanted someone other than poor, round little Neville. He wanted that aristocrat bastard Draco Malfoy. And I was always left on the side, a forgotten pair of gym socks, slightly browned and with a hole in the big toe. But now I have a way to get rid of ALL the competition. That Malfoy snob may hold Harry's heart, but today I saw something unspeakable. Harry was kissing another boy in the washroom! I'd never seen him before but it doesn't matter. Tonight I will tell Malfoy what I saw and Harry will be doomed to never have a chance with him! Unless that is-_

_HARRY POTTER AGREES TO MARRY ME!_


	19. Chapter 19

Harry Potter strode down the fifth floor corridor, feeling confident in his hunky-man self. He'd bagged another boy. _Who cares if we're related? It's not like we could have children anyways… _ He thought. He secretly hoped Tom wasn't hiding a terrible female secret from him. And infact! Why couldn't Harry have both Tom AND Malfoy? Maybe he could even afford to throw a little Professor Snape in on the side! Unfortunately his thoughts were interrupted by a snotty red-headed brute. "Like Harry oh my god! Neville just stormed out of the common room Harry! Can you believe he just like kicked me in the face!? I was just sitting there reading Sailor Moon and like minding my own business...LIKE!" Ron blurted into Harry Potter's devilishly handsome face.

Harry decided to humor Ron, "Well did you do anything to upset him?"

"Well it looked like he'd been crying or something his face was all bloat and spot, so I said, 'Neville chap! Couldn't find a dirty enough pair of knickers to hide in Harry's herbology textbook couldja?'."

"THOSE AREN'T _DIRTY_! THEY'RE PRECIOUS GIFTS YOU CUMBERDINK!" and he decided to add, "AND THEY AREN'T FROM NEVILLE EITHER! THEY'RE FROM MY _LARGER SIZED_ FAN GIRLS!"

Ron stood, dumbfounded and then turned and walked away, shaking his head. "There aren't any girls at this school that could compensate for Neville's plump rump," he murmured under his breath.

Harry was confident he'd detoured Ron from thinking Neville left the undies in his sheets. The last thing he needed was Ron trying out those exotic limbos on him.

Potions was the usual boring shit. Harry noticed however that Snape was paying a bit too much attention to Malfoy. And on more than one occasion leaned just a _little_ to far over, exposing his bare breast to Draco's impressionable young eyes. It killed Harry to watch this display-so he let the tears drop silently into his cauldron, one by one. Just as Snape had "accidentally" dropped his quill in front of Draco's desk, giving him a clear view of his bottom Neville came and perched himself on Harry's knee.

"I know what you've been fornicating with another boy," he accused.

"What's it to you anyways Neville?" Harry retorted, "I'm allowed to pleasure myself with whoever's company I desire-I'm Harry Potter after all. I made the cover of Naked Witch Weekly six times in a single season-that's unheard of!"

"Harry please!" Neville begged, straddling Harry's tender lap, "Please don't make me hurt you."

"Neville you're squashing me!" Harry began to panic, he was getting pulled under by the current of waves Neville's body produce, "Help me someone! HELP! I'm fucking drowning over here!"

"Harry, I didn't want to do this- but if you're going to force me…"

"W-" Harry gasped for air, his arms flying upwards trying to find something, anything to hold on to, "What are you going to do? What do you WANT!?"

Neville suddenly got up, his eyes never leaving Harry's, "I'm going to do what anyone would do for the one they loved." He got down on one knee, looking into Harry's horror stricken face, "Harry Potter- I'm asking you- as a boy in love with another boy-Will you Marry Me?"

Harry suddenly realized all eyes in the room were focused on him, and he dreaded seeing Draco Malfoy's. He hesitated, and Neville grew frustrated.

"Harry," he said in a low growl, much unlike his normally high-chipper tone, "If you don't agree to marry me I'll tell _him,_ yes, you know who I'm talking about, what I caught you doing in the boy's bathroom."

Realization over flooded Harry. He couldn't have Draco hear what he'd done. It'd turn him off for sure and just when they had been getting a bit closer Neville was going to tear them apart again! He could not let this happen. His fantasies of having multiple boys at once were about to be dashed into the gloomy hell of Seamus Finnegan's arm pits.

He stood, ready to strike, like a python at the watering hole. "Neville Longbottom, I will NOT agree to marry you! Especially when you have that HUGE crush on HERMIONE GRANGER!" Harry spun around and pointed at Hermione, who was absolutely flabbergasted.

Ron stood up, face as red as his hair, "NEVILLE YOU FUCKING TWIT! SO THAT'S WHY YOU DROPKICKED ME? I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR EYES OUT OF THEIR FUCKING SOCKETS IF YOU FOR ONE SECOND EVER LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN!" And then he advanced on poor confused little Neville.


End file.
